

There have been two patches for these three games, and while they have fixed a lot, they’re things that should have never shipped in the first place. But when you see the games running on PC or an Xbox Series X, and while those ports aren’t perfect, at least the engine change lets some things shine. I almost talked myself into believing that this low resolution could be some sick nod to how the games looked back in the day. This all happens with the game looking like someone smeared vaseline into your eyes. The game runs so poorly that the faster you go, the framerate can’t even keep up with your inputs, and your car starts to wobble, and you end up in a ditch, off a bridge, or worse – wasted and back without your weapons. Buildings render in front of you as you’re driving along, cars too as well. It’s taken me so long to write this review because where do you start? Do you start on the framerate? It’s low and may be expected on the Switch, but it hitches and stutters even when changing the radio station. How can such old games run so poorly? (That’s a rhetorical question, it’s the new engine). Instead, they’re presented in what is possibly the worst way possible. We should be celebrating that, and as a bonus, we can play them on a Nintendo console. Grand Theft Auto 3, Vice City and San Andreas are all watershed moments in gaming history. The two novel-length patch notes and the countless memes we’ve had since these were released will attest to that. But because Rockstar Games and Grove Street Games chose to throw the baby out with the bathwater and throw away nearly two decades years of mods and improvements to the original games and remake the games in an entirely new engine, we’ve got a lot of issues. Now, because the Switch didn’t have any previous GTA ports already, we’re not at a loss there. When Rockstar announced this remaster, it did so at the expense of the versions of the game already released. Well, we got the Grand Theft Auto Trilogy on a Nintendo system, and you can play it wherever you want – and there are some improvements – but almost everything else went wrong with these remasters, and they’re made even worse on the Switch. After 20 years, they were coming to a Nintendo system and a portable one that promised a range of improvements to the game to help bring them into the modern era. I was excited when I first learned that the original Grand Theft Auto games were coming to the Nintendo Switch.
